Pageboy, a Memoir by Elliot Page

Pageboy, a memoir by Elliot Page, caught my eye as I scanned the new book shelves at my local library. Page is a transgender man formerly known as Ellen Page, the actor, who I first saw in the film Juno.

The memoir is focused on Page’s sense of gender identity and the challenges he experienced with it growing up and as an adult. Before he came out as transgender, he came out as gay.

Page shares some stories of homophobic and anti-trans behavior toward him not only by people in Hollywood but by his family and friends. I was surprised at how difficult it still is, nearly a quarter of the way into the 21st century, for people to be accepting of others.

Maybe I’ve been working in a progressive, higher education bubble for so long that I have blinders on when it comes to many people’s homophobia.

It was fascinating to learn how Page’s sense of identity evolved. He remembers feeling like a boy from the time he was four years old. Puberty was traumatic because it forced him to feel even more wrong in his body.

He shares his feelings and thoughts about all of this well. It sounds like he was a very anxious person before coming out as transgender. Certainly there was a lot to be anxious about.

Growing up in Nova Scotia, Page had two older step-siblings but was otherwise an only child. He spent half his time at his mom’s and half at his dad’s. His dad didn’t provide emotional support consistently, and especially not when Page’s stepmother was around. She was cruel to Page, and his dad didn’t stick up for him with her.

To constantly feel as though you’re less important, less valued, less loved on top of feeling that you can’t be your real self?

How do you stand up for yourself if your own father won’t?

This is not an easy read. It’s emotionally wrenching. It also increased my understanding about one person’s journey to a stronger sense of self.